Tag Archives: college

November 19, 2013 · 11:19 pm

Dealing With (A) Loss

My daughter’s high school volleyball career ended in the state semifinals last week.  And dealing with that has been another in a string of dad-challenges as her senior year unfolds and her college days approach.

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Playing at Penn State, age 12

When she was only 5 or 6 years old and I was a high school varsity volleyball coach, I started teaching my little girl to pass a ball.  In 3rd grade she played on her first recreation league team, and in 4th grade I became her coach, first in the rec league, and then on club teams.  Even after I stepped into the background to cheer as she played for other coaches, I remained my daughter’s personal advisor, unwavering fan, and honest critic.  We spent hundreds of hours together reflecting during rides home from practices and matches, and in recent years she actively sought me out during down-time at tournaments for advice when she felt she was struggling.

Last spring my favorite player hung up her club uniform, in part because she wanted to end her competitive career representing her high school as the team’s libero through her senior season this fall.  And that season turned out to be the ride of a lifetime:  They finished 19-3.  Regional champions.  State semifinalists.  Just 3 points short of a trip to the state championship game…and that was the end.

We are both making peace with the playoff loss–a match, honestly, that her team probably should have won…but that’s just sports.  The most difficult loss is not that match; it’s accepting that a connection we shared for 9 years will never be quite the same.  9 years of tryouts.  And practices. And matches.  And tournaments.

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Protecting the floor as a senior. Photo by Nate Pesce, October 24, 2013. Used with permission.

Wins.  And Losses.  Good times.  And struggles.  All now part of our history.

I realize the end of the volleyball season is only one milestone in a senior year that is slowly preparing our entire family for this time next year, when my daughter will be living on a college campus.  And whether it comes down to a graduating senior’s final game, final competition, or final performance, I doubt we are the only family working through this type of change.  So, to borrow from The Player in Tom Stoppard’s Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead, I suggest that we–the parents of high school seniors and our seniors themselves–need to “look on every exit being an entrance somewhere else.”  ‘Somewhere else’ is going to be great–but so was the scene we just left, and getting used to moving forward is going to take a little time.

 

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April 22, 2013 · 11:22 pm

The Great College Search–Part One

Our oldest child is a junior in high school, so by this time next year we will know where she will be heading for college.  College has been a major goal since before she was born, so it’s amazing to all of us that she is so close.  But even though my wife and I are college grads, and even though I have spent 25 years as an educator, the process she is jumping into….of choosing a school, navigating admissions, applying for financial aid, and selecting the place that will be part of her identity for the rest of your life…is BIG.

A College Visit

A College Visit

Safety First.  The only limit I’ve imposed upon her search is safety:  Whether she decides to stay close to home or to move a plane ride away, to go in-state public or out-of-state private, my main concern is that she is as safe as possible on campus.  That means Google searches about crime and safety on campuses, and consideration of whether a campus is its own world or blends into a town or city.

Her Priorities.  Our daughter’s approach to the college search has been interesting–she is mostly interested in larger schools, but she is wary of colleges that she considers “party schools.”  Otherwise, her pool of schools has been relatively easy to fill, as her intended majors are offered almost everywhere, and “study abroad”–one of her plans since she was very young–has become far more common than it was when I was and undergrad in the ’80s.

College Visits.  So far we have only dabbled in college visits.  Her rigorous junior year course work and club volleyball schedule mean it is hard to take a weekend away.  But we have started to mix the volleyball tournament schedule with the college search–resulting in the surprising but definitive elimination of what had been one of her short-list schools a few weeks ago.  And summer is coming…

Admission Mystery?  Trusting in the consistent messages from college admissions staff, the keys to modern college admissions are solid test scores, good grades, and–the easiest factor to control–a RIGOROUS high school schedule.  The days of padding a GPA by taking an easier path are gone, with many colleges actually re-calculating each applicant’s GPA according to their own standards–focusing on academic classes and adding weight for honors and Advanced Placement.  But time will tell.

A City Campus

A City Campus

As we work through the next year, there will be plenty to learn about applications, financial aid, and scholarships, and our daughter will have to make a big decision.  It’s going to be an interesting year with one clear goal:  that she winds up in the right school…wherever that is.

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December 2, 2012 · 11:31 pm

PSAT Score Countdown

Students around the country will receive their Preliminary Scholastic Aptitude Test (PSAT)® scores in the next few weeks.  When I took the PSAT, in the days when dinosaurs (along with Ronald Reagan, Michael Jackson, and Magnum, P.I.) ruled the earth, a college-bound student’s world was different:

  • We only took the test once–in 11th grade, as part of the National Merit Scholarship competition.
  • We took it on Saturday.
  • There was no direct preparation in school.

Today, high schools often offer the test for 9th, 10th, and 11th grade students.  Freshmen and sophomores take the PSAT to help them prepare for their junior year attempt, which is still the score that counts for National Merit consideration.  In many cases, high schools actually pay for all of their students in certain grades to take the test, and it has become common to offer the test during weekday school hours and to align some instruction with the form and content of the test.

A Great Investment.  As an educator and as a dad, my advice is for students to take the test all 3 years, if possible.  In exchange for a relatively small fee (currently $15, although schools are permitted to add a small additional fee to cover administration costs if they choose), and a few hours of their time, kids receive great value:

  • Scores that predict their current readiness for the Scholastic Aptitiude Test (SAT)®
  • Some of the most detailed feedback offered through any standardized test, as they receive their original test booklets along with score sheets listing their answers & the correct answers
  • The opportunity to receive advertising and recruitment mail from dozens of colleges based upon test performance & geography

In addition, after taking the PSAT in October of their junior year, students with the highest scores in each state are notified that they have qualified as National Merit ‘Commended,’ ‘Semi-finalist,’ or ‘Finalist.’

Like any standardized test, the PSAT has its own ‘scaled’ scores.  These scores offer predictions of the student’s performance on the SAT.  But I encourage students to focus on percentile scores to evaluate their strengths and areas for growth.  Percentiles are much easier for most students to visualize, and they simplify comparisons between completely different types of test.

Junior Moments.  Our 16 year old daughter took the test in 10th grade and again this year as a junior–her school does not offer a 9th grade administration.  I learned long ago that when she sinks her teeth into a project my best option may be to stay out of her way.  So over the last 2 summers she has spent time working through an old PSAT prep book from my classroom teaching days–her choice, because she wanted to take her absolute best shot at her 11th grade PSAT.  In another couple of weeks she, and over a million other students, will find out just how well she did.

Note:  DadKnowsBetter received no compensation of any kind related to this post.  The opinions expressed here are my own.

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