Big Match at a Small School

My daughter’s college search came down to a final four of 2 very large state universities and 2 small liberal arts colleges.  Since before she started elementary school she had talked about going to a big school, and her top 2 seemed to be obvious winners:  our state’s flagship university (of which I am a proud alum) and an even larger public school in a neighboring state (where she had played volleyball tournaments over 6 Memorial Day weekends).

But last summer we mixed in visits to a couple of smaller schools and she started re-envisioning college life.  In the fall, several small liberal arts colleges found their way onto her application list.  Her two smaller finalists included her mother’s alma mater (a small liberal arts college 3 hours from our home) and a liberal arts college over 6 hours away that we had never visited–but which she loved from her college guides and online research.

The Big Visit

Over spring break my daughter and I visited that final school for the first time.  Walking around in some of the heaviest rain I have ever seen, she was clearly on the campus she wanted to call home.  Halfway through our visit she asked, “Can we stop by the bookstore before it closes?”  I slowly replied, “Does that mean…?” and she confirmed:  “This is the one.”  At the bookstore she bought a sweatshirt and a lanyard, and then we finished exploring campus.

So WHY did she pick the smallest school on her list?  Here are a few advantages my daughter sees:

  • Value for humanities.  Tour after tour of big schools last summer focused on science and engineering.  But liberal arts colleges talked about their writing programs, humanities majors, etc.  And she sees herself as an English or government major.
  • Drama.  My daughter loved her high school theatre experience, but she does not intend to major in drama.  When she asked reps at the bigger schools, they told her theater majors had priority in casting.  Reps at the smaller schools openly encouraged non-majors to audition.
  • Sense of belonging.  My wife attended a school of around 2,000.  My school was closer to 35,000.  She goes to reunions.  I do not.  She can tell you the names of everyone who joined the class after freshman year or who left before graduation.  Impossible at my alma mater.  If my wife runs into someone wearing a shirt from her school, it becomes a conversation.  When I run into someone with a shirt from my school, it is more likely that it represents basketball or football fandom rather than a shared history.  My daughter has chosen the small school community.
  • Safety.  Obviously, there are dangers on any college campus.  But the smaller schools tend to be in small towns or–in the case of my daughter’s new school–in rural settings.  Her campus literally borders a river, and the nearest intersection with so much as a gas station is a 5 minute drive.  The nearest small town with a few stores is a 15 minute drive (or shuttle).

So how do her mother and I feel about our daughter’s choice?  Surprised.  But also peacefully happy for her.  It is clear that she found her match….in a place where she almost never looked.

 

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Filed under College, Safety, School, Transitions

Finding a New Balance at Disneyland

25 years ago…15 years ago…even 3 years ago, our approach to a theme park vacation resembled a battle plan.  We (whether there were 2, 3, 4, or 5 of us) were at the park gate by opening and we pushed ourselves all day.  Our goal:  to maximize time for rides, shows, and sometimes even parades until it was time to leave, often after the fireworks.  Then I would usually carry whoever had fallen asleep from the shuttle bus back to our room.  Sounds relaxing?  Of course not.  Even though we had a GREAT time, afterwards we needed a vacation to recover from our vacation.

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Checking out the map

Now the kids are 18, 15, and 11.  And I’ve been making a conscious effort to slow down, to appreciate more & chase less.  So when Mrs. DadKnowsBetter was invited to attend this year’s Disney Social Media Moms Conference at Disneyland, it was an opportunity we couldn’t pass up.  The conference was set up to include a mix of participant activities, family activities, and free time.  Our plan:  Mrs. DKB would focus on all of the conference activities, and we would all be together for the family activities and for free time in the parks.  While she was conferencing, I would manage the herd.

We still got to the gates more or less at opening each morning.  But with 4 days to visit 2 parks, we tried a slower, more comfortable pace.  For the first time ever, we even went to the room one afternoon for re-charge time before heading back to the park for the evening.

I am in no rush for my kids to get older–something upon which I am reflecting quite a lot with only a few months before our oldest heads off to college later this year–but that does not mean I can’t appreciate how much easier this trip to Disney was compared to travelling with younger kids.  Maybe the kids aren’t the only ones who are growing up….

Good times.

Autotopia

Autotopia

Note:  I did not receive any compensation or consideration related to any part of this post.  Mrs. DKB paid the standard registration fees to participate in the DisneySMMoms Conference; the rest of us accompanied her to Disneyland from April 10-14, 2014 at our own expense.

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Filed under Blogging, Dad Takes A Break, Places to Go, Vacation & Travel

Whose Cello Is It, Anyway?

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Photo credit: Turidoth / Foter / CC BY-SA

I don’t actually play the cello.  I’ve never had a lesson.  I have experimented with the bow once or twice, but that’s it.  The piano is actually my just-slightly-less-portable instrument.  (Our county’s school buses do not allow large instruments due to space and safety, so pardon the attempted humor.  We view Mr. Cello as a 6th member of the family.)

Now, my son?  HE plays the cello.  In my dad-opinion he plays pretty well, and he says he enjoys it.  And, to be clear, I 100% enjoy listening to him practice.  He has plenty to learn, but a little of the boy’s cello brings a bit of peace to my day.

Our problem is the classic parent-child instrument practice grappling along the lines of “It’s time to practice!” leading to “In a little while” or “Just 20 minutes, right?” or “We had strings in school today, so I don’t need to” or……

So tonight I brought the boy to an important crossroad:  It’s up to you.  You start middle school next year, and it’s time for you to decide whether you want to play the cello or stop the cello; there’s no more saying ‘Yes I do!’ but showing ‘I want to get good but I’m not all that interested in doing what it takes to get there.’

He doesn’t need to TELL me what he wants to do.  He’ll show me.  And either way, it’s OK.  Mr. Cello is now a hassle-free topic.  And that brings a little more peace.

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Filed under Activities & Sports, Finding Peace, School, Transitions