Category Archives: Transitions

Believing, Knowing, and Feeling

Like many parents, I’ve believed my daughter would be heading to college since before she was born.  She accepted an admissions offer months ago, so you could say that since then we’ve known not only THAT she would be going, but WHERE.  But it became real on a different level one night in August.watermarked-14494879_10210688146509269_3666155225609929744_n

We had just gotten back from vacation, and while we were away at the beach her year-round swim club had held the final practice of what had been her final season with the team.  I was having a routine evening when all of a sudden she volunteered:

“I texted Coach to ask if I could practice with the team when I’m home on breaks.  He said they would love to have me there.”

And that’s when I felt it.  A deep sense of quiet.

I’m happy for her and a little envious of the adventure she’s heading into.  I loved college, and I hope she does, too.  But that’s when it became real.

She’s only going one state north, maybe 2 hours or so away, and since she’ll be swimming for the school I’ll have easy excuses to drive up to visit once in a while.  So we’ll see her.  But…

In one of the books I used to read her when she was tiny–I can’t remember which one, but if it rings a bell, please help me out with a comment–one of the very young characters “got kind of quiet” for a few minutes when a situation became unexpectedly real.

I’m there.

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Filed under Activities & Sports, College, School, Transitions, Uncategorized

Brackish Water

IMG_20150710_140848109Our oldest, 20 years old, is off living the college life she has dreamed about since she was a little girl.  I couldn’t be happier for, or prouder of, our young lady:  She is excelling in the classroom and representing her school on the volleyball court.  But there is one major drawback:  She is doing it all a 6+ hour drive from home.

Her sister, 17, is a high school senior.  College acceptance letters are arriving and she is swapping calls and texts with the schools’ coaches as she tries to find the right match where she will be happy on campus, in the classroom, and in the pool.  Family life is a little simpler now that she can drive herself to school and to practice.  But that means we don’t see her quite as much, and I worry about her getting from place to place safely.  Again:  pride, happiness…and a little melancholy.

Now the boy, who is 12, still counts on us to get him from place to place, to attend his events, to help with his homework.  He will be as tall as I am in the next couple of years, but clothing size aside, he is still very much a kid.  Right now, seeing how fast it has all gone by with his sisters, I am well aware that I need to savor the soccer matches, the school concerts, and the swim meets, because if I blink he will be off to college himself.

We haven’t done it all perfectly, but I believe we have done it well.  Each of them is happy; the girls have succeeded in creating options for themselves, and the boy is on a good path.  Like most kids, each has hit routine bumps along the way; but in many ways each has had the best year of his/her life over the last 12 months or so.

So if it’s ALL going well, why write about it?  Well, truth be told, while the kids seem to be on track, their parents are struggling a little with the transition in everyone’s roles within the family.  It seems all too soon that we are seeing the girls leading their own lives in important ways and our role changing from supervising to advising.  And the boy is right behind them.

Again, all too soon, the three of them will be living under other roofs, always needing us, but never in the same way as when they were little.  Right now, we are somewhere in between.  And learning to swim in this brackish water is a combination of gratifying, sad, nostalgic, and a little scary.

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Filed under Appreciation, College, Education, School, Transitions

Fast Times

There’s no news here:  It goes fast.  The kids are growing up, and each year seems to be faster than the last.  I think most of us feel that way.  But lately, I’ve been more aware of time flying by than ever before.  Maybe it’s my oldest heading off to college 2 months ago–or her younger sister starting her own college search this fall–or my youngest starting middle school.  Or maybe it’s my own march into my late 40s?

A couple of weeks ago, my high school junior’s school had a spirit day for the Orioles’ playoff run.  She is not big on fan gear, so when she could not come up with anything orange & black, I had the answer:  in 1995, 3 months before we first had a baby in the house, I went to the game at Camden Yards where Cal Ripken tied Lou Gehrig’s consecutive games streak at 2,130.  I bought a t-shirt that says, “I WAS THERE!” and decided not to wear it, but to save it for the right time down the road.  It was time:  I dug it out of our keepsake collection, and Ms. 11th Grade was all set for school.

Cal Ripken Streak Game T-shirt

Cal Ripken Streak Game T-shirt

A former student–a rabid O’s fan, now in her early 30s and a Facebook friend–saw my post about this and commented:  “I believe you told me when I wore mine to school the next day, ‘I’m saving it for my kids.’ So, nicely done.”  A warm shared memory, but how in the world has it been 19 years since that game?  And how is my student already a teacher and a mom of two toddlers?

Then a college friend’s birthday showed up on Facebook earlier this week, and he made a comment that had not occurred to me:  His kids are closer to 30 than he is.  I realized this is true for my 2 older kids, as well.  30 is that far away?!  I remember teaching The Great Gatsby when I turned 30 myself, along with Nick Carraway, and the charge of sharing his feeling that “I’m 30.  I’m 5 years too old to lie to myself and call it honor.”  And now my girls are closer to that than I am.

Don’t get me wrong:  I’m not depressed.  I’m not sad.  But I am in awe of how much we’ve done and how quickly the time has passed.  And if I can’t put the breaks on time passing, at least I’ll always have this:  I WAS THERE.

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Filed under Appreciation, College, School, Transitions, Uncategorized